Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Husbands

Released by Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Husbands.

Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
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There is only one perfect child in the world and every Mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every Neighbour has it
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Women"?
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: "Everything" ;
and the book is titled: "What Women Want!"
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A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
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Girlfriends are like CHOCOLATES, taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot and spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands are like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead - should be buried or Cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying &
The other ensures you continue
to cry for the rest of your Life!
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second Woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the Same offence
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Lady to her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! You are just saying that to make me jealous!"
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Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said,
"I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

Can You Dance Better than This Dog?

This is just soooooo adorable!!!

How to make Women happy VS How to make Men Happy

How True……….

How to keep a woman happy.... Priceless!


It's not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber 
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist 
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer 
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic 
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant 
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous 
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate


45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls


51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


1. Leave him alone

Generation Y

I've always wondered this myself... now I know.

- People born before 1946 were called The Silent generation.. 
- The Baby Boomers, are people born between 1946 and 1959. 
- Generation X, people have been born between 1960 and 1979. 

- Generation Y , are the people born between 1980 and 2010 
Why do we call the last group Generation Y? 
A cartoonist explained it very eloquently below.... 
Scroll down.


And I always thought it was because they say....

Y should I get a job?
Y should I leave home and find my own place?
Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?
Y should I clean my room?
Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
Y should I buy any food?

Entertaining Solutions in Life

Subject: Fw: Fwd: FW: Fwd: I can fix that ~~~

Don 't have a spoon?

I can fix that!


Seatbelt broken?
I can fix that!

New TV too big for the old cabinet?

I can fix that!

I need some of these….

Electrical problem?
I can fix that!


Car stereo stolen?
I can fix that! 

Bookshelf cracking under the weight?
I can fix that!

Can't afford a real GPS?
I can fix that!

No ice chest?
I can fix that!

Can't read the ATM screen?
I can fix that!

Car imported from the wrong country?
I can fix that!
Bettsy might be able to use this idea….

Satellite go out in the rain?
I can fix that!

Electric stove broken & can't heat coffee?
I fixed that.

Wiper motor burned out?
I can fix that!

Display rack falling over?
I can fix that!

Tires worm out?
I fixed that.
Might be a little hard to steer.

Erm… Dunno what is this fixing…


Exhaust pipe dragging?
I can fix that!


Gotta feed the baby AND do the laundry?
(hopefully the baby doesn’t choke on the milk)
I can fix that!

Cables falling behind the desk?
I can fix that!


I actually think that’s ingenious. (In fact I am doing that)

Out of diapers? I can fix that!



Sunday, 6 March 2011

Children Are Quick

Children Are Quick

TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find    North America  .
Here it  is.
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered    America ?
CLASS:         Maria.

TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  

(I  Love this child)

TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:      H I J K L M N O
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.  

TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:       Me!

TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.  

TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  '
MILLIE:         I  is..
TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'


TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his hand....


TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.  

TEACHER:        Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE  :         No, sir. It's the same dog.  

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher